Introduction

We human beings are social creatures. Therefore, it is un inevitable to interact with others for many reasons (as a couple, family, coworker, or leader). While we are here on this earth planet, it is natural for man to interact with one another. That is why Almighty God proclaimed that it is not good for a person to live alone (ሰው ብቻውን ይኖር ዘንድ መልካም አይደለም).

Through our relationship, we exchange, sell and buy and share resources (marketing). We help one another during emergencies and we enjoy together during good days. Both during good and bad days, the interaction of human beings is critical. Therefore, we can say that relationship is everything to man.

All human beings are created to live and interact with one another in harmony. One man is created to add more value to the lives of others. That way the lives of all of us become uprising.  However, now a day relationships of human beings became much more complex, harmful, and destructive than they had been ever before. As a result of which many couples divorce, coworkers fight, families collapse, leaders scramble for power and resources, etc. severely than it had been before. 

Why relationships among human beings became complex, harmful, and destructive?

Most of us believe that the reason for such complex, negative, and destructive relationships among human beings is due to changes in time. However, there had been day and night and as it is right now also. Therefore, there is nothing changed over time.

We also pretend to believe that it is due to a shortage of resources. However, we have seen people who have more than enough resources but still quarreling.

Others still believe that it is God's prophecy to be fulfilled. However, we have seen many prophecies of God's destruction, such as the people of Sodom and Gomorrah were excused from destruction.

Therefore, what are the reasons relationships among people became arrogant and destructive it had been before becoming the myth and question of most of us? I think the ONLY reason is that we don’t know how relationships work to the level that science and technology had advanced.

The good news is for all these complex, negative, and destructive relationships among human beings, there is a single solution. That is treating others the way one wanted to be treated by others.

What are we doing to have harmonious relations?

Nowadays, we human beings became the enemy of one another in a much more arrogant way than any other organism on the earth. For harmonious relationships, most of us unknowingly invest our time and energy in searching for the kindest person to interact with. It does not work until we ourselves become the kindest person. We rather stay searching for that person forever.

Other of us wasted our effort and time complaining about the person who is cruel, arrogant, and selfish with whom we are interacting for so many reasons (as coworkers, couples, family, etc). And we pretend to revenge them as much as we can. This does not work too! Because every moment we started to revenge on others; we are becoming that kind of person. Then by the principle of like attract like, we most of the time will interact with the person in the exact same way we treat others.

The bad thing about such a relationship is that you will pretend to believe that all the people interacting with you are most of the time cruel, arrogant, and selfish. However, the reality is this is due to the fact that like attracts like, that is you are attracting the person who is cruel, arrogant, and selfish similar to you and your belief that most people are cruel, arrogant, and selfish. This is in fact a cycle that is to be continued as far as we ourselves are not kind.

My own experiences with relationship

In all my life, I was always struggling to interact with others in a positive and cooperative way. I wonder to interact with most of the people including my wife and kids to interact negatively and destructively. For these, I was pretending to believe that there is a change of time as a result of which most people become arrogant, cruel, and selfish. However, there had been day and night and as it is right now also. Therefore, in reality, it became clear to me that there is nothing changed in time. I also used to believe that such distorted relationships among human beings ever before might be due to a shortage of resources and even to the fulfillment of God's prophecy. I then critically analyzed every now and then. And I found myself in the wrong belief. Finally, I found the ONLY reason that my relationship with human beings became distorted is that I don’t know how relationships work. Then I become inspired to know a lot about how a relationship works.

Do you want to have a positive and cooperative relationship with everyone all the time?

If that is the case, great. Go ahead reading the rest of this text till the end. By the end of reading this text, believe me, that you will have the ONE KEY to having positive and cooperative relationships with EVERYONE at ANY TIME.

What is the solution for such a distorted relationship among human beings?

While I was searching for the possible main cause for the distortion of relationships among humans, I found the one reason mentioned above i.e., we don’t know how relationships work.

Once again, I started to search for any possible solution for distorted relationships among humans so that to have positive and cooperative relationships among us. And as a solution, I was personally wasting time and energy to correct others to be positive and collaborative while interacting with me. To make things worse, I was complaining to others about their selfish, arrogant, harmful, and destructive interaction with me. However, I realized that none of these are not working. Even they lead to me more worsen relationships. All my previous thoughts, beliefs, and doings about relationships were not working at all because they were all wrong. I have seen them not working for many years in my own life.

I curiously studied about what is relationship and how it works. I read many references and I studied the relationship experiences of many successful people in the world. I started experimenting with some ways and philosophies of relationships in my own life. After many trials and errors, I found that there is one solution that works for me. It is treating others the way one wanted to be treated with others. This is the profound principle for all forms of relationships.

While I was searching for the cause of distortion of human relationships and possible solutions, I got clear some of the concepts about how a relationship works:

First of all, I have complete and exclusive power to determine how I interact with others. Otherwise, I have no power and possibility to determine how others interact with me or how they treat me. This is really the very basic foundational concept about relationships.

The second important concept I became clear is that if any person (is cruel, arrogant, selfish, or kind) we treat him positively and cooperatively, he has a higher probability to be positive. When it comes to relationships, this is a very good common human nature.

The third is the conclusion I came up with from the above two ones which might be secreted for most of us. It is for positive and cooperative relationships with everyone, we need to treat others the same way we wanted to be treated with others (we have complete and exclusive power to do so). This is really worthy of many times reading, studying, and experimenting in one’s own life to clearly understand, apply and make it a habit.  

The moment we understood, apply, and make our habits, our relationship with others will be positive and cooperative forever. And I think it is realizing this possibility that God himself boldly told us this way: if you can, live in peace with everyone (ቢቻላችሁስ ከሁሉም ጋር በሰላም ኑሩ). Carefully note that he said to live with EVERYONE in peace. He didn’t say live with the ones who are similar in religion, ethnicity, gender, etc., but rather with EVERYONE. So, if this is the case where did today’s religion, ethnicity, gender etc. based relationships come from?

What does it mean to treat others the way one wanted to be treated by others?

For anyone who wanted to have positive and cooperative relationships with others, he needs to try to treat those others the way he wanted to be treated by them. This is the very basic foundation for all forms of relationships (couples, family, coworkers, leaders). The moment one understands and applies the principle of treating others the way one wanted to be treated by others, all the people who are interacting with him will treat him the same way he does unto them. This is why it is said the state of relationships with others is under the complete control of oneself. So, hereafter I strongly recommend anyone to have the principle of treating others the way one wanted to be treated by others. I hope every one of us knows clearly how we wanted to be treated by others. And so we all know how we should treat others too!

Why ‘‘treat others the way one wanted to be treated by others’’ is a solution? 

All the people will treat you like you treat them regardless of who they are (whether they are selfish, cruel, arrogant, or kind before). This is not only philosophy but also a clear truth in the fact that you reap what you saw. The people who are to interact with you will treat you the exact same way you treat them. This implies that the state of all forms of relationships is under the complete control of you no matter with whom you are interacting. Spin in understanding, applying, and making a habit of this principle for as long time as possible. Then your complex, negative, and destructive relationship with others will be over forever.

From the time when I understood this secret to now and, in the future, too, my relationship with others including with my own wife, kids, and others is being more positive and cooperative. Therefore, I all the time invest my time and energy in training myself to treat others in a positive and cooperative way no matter what others are. I have experimented with this philosophy in many ways with many of the persons I interacted with for so many reasons. It works effectively. 

Then always I am trying to make it my habit to treat others in the same way I wanted to be treated with them unconditionally. It is none of my business to correct others whether they are selfish, cruel, arrogant, or kind. I have seen it practically that the moment I started to treat others in the way I wanted to be treated by others, the way others interacted with me became corrected automatically! And finally, now most of my relationships with others became positive and cooperative.

For example, there had been a lot of quarrels with my wife, kids, and others (many times a day) even sometimes for unknown reasons. When I started to treat them the way I wanted to be treated by them, it works effectively without doing anything to others. Relationships with my wife, kids, and others became more positive and cooperative. If it works for me, it works for you too. So, try it soon and let us see what happens.

As you know it takes a lot of time and energy to build a new habit in our life. But once it is already built, it pays us off forever. Similarly, it takes a lot of practice to be able to treat others the way you wanted to be treated by others. Once you make it a habit, all the problems about your relationship with others will be solved forever. Therefore, it is worth training oneself to treat others the way one wanted to be treated. Otherwise, it is time and energy wastage to search for the kindest person, to correct others, and to complain about their undesired relationship with us.

Concluding thoughts

@ We are social creatures, un investable to interact with one another.

@ We are created to live and interact with one another in harmony.

@ However, couples divorce, families collapse, etc. ever before.

@ The state of relationships is under complete control of oneself.

@ We have complete power to determine how we treat others.

@ But no any direct power to determine the way others treat us.

@ So, we better invest a lot in correcting the way we treat others.

@ And the state of others treatment up on us will take care of itself.


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